You do not find alignment by waiting

There is a particular discomfort in doing something for the first time on your own.

Turning up to a class where you know no one, starting a running routine before anyone else is interested, or beginning a project without an audience can feel exposing. The early stages of anything worthwhile often do.

Recently, I came across a line that grabbed me: “If you want to go for a run, go for a run. Don’t look for company. Sooner or later, on your fifth run or your twentieth, like-minded people will find you themselves.”

Simple and true, it applies far beyond running.

I remember being nineteen and preparing to move to London on my own. Around that time, I had read something about learning to be comfortable doing things alone. Simple things like taking yourself out to dinner and asking for a table for one without apology.

So one evening I decided to try it. I walked down Chapel Street, South Yarra to Caffe e Cucina with a book tucked in my bag, just in case I felt awkward and needed something to hide behind.

In my original Mimco bag mind you. So South Yarra, 2006.

The book never left the bag.

Instead, I found myself entertained, absorbed in the details around me — the restaurant interiors, the beautiful glassware, the choreography between floor staff and guests. I appreciated each sip of wine without conversation pulling my attention elsewhere.

What surprised me most was not that I managed it, but that I enjoyed it. I didn’t feel lonely or exposed. I felt present and liberated.

That small decision mattered more than I realised at the time. It taught me that independence is not isolation. It is the willingness to occupy your own space without waiting for reassurance from others.

Since then, I have booked tickets to concerts and music festivals on my own. I have travelled solo and started projects without knowing who might join. Each time, the same pattern repeats. The hesitation fades and is replaced by something steadier. Confidence grows through repetition rather than applause.

We often wait for reassurance before we begin. We wait for numbers, for visible interest, for someone else to step forward first. We tell ourselves it will be easier once others are involved.

But most things do not begin with a crowd. They begin with consistency.

The first few attempts are often solitary. It is easy to assume that no one is paying attention. In reality, people notice persistence far more than enthusiasm. Familiarity builds trust, and trust makes participation easier.

Continuing anyway builds confidence that does not depend on consensus. It also creates momentum, and momentum tends to attract people over time.

Connection rarely comes before action. More often, action comes first and connection follows.

If you want to run, then run. If you want to write, then write. If you want to try something new, then try it. You may not have company at the beginning, and you may not receive immediate encouragement.

You do not find alignment by waiting.

You find it by moving forward, even if no one is watching.